Audio dharma talk by Sarah Dōjin Emerson (2022/04/02)

When we return to our breath one of the things we are doing is we are returning to our relationship with all things.
When we return to our breath one of the things we are doing is we are returning to our relationship with all things.
Bring your attention to your heart area. How does it feel, to give, this moment, to ourselves, completely to ourselves? Wherever you are, with your thoughts and feelings, painful or joyous… how is it to give, completely, to what we are feeling at this time?
For Dogen, that dropping away of body and mind that he considers awakening, is the dropping away of that center of experience.
It is often spoken about that this meditation, this sitting, is a practice to meet our own death.
I have seen this happen, when some tinny little thing will happen in my relationship and the intensity of the response is so tremendous because it is connected to a whole stream of unforgiven, unnamed, unfelt pain.
How do we live in this world? From where do we respond? Are we in touch enough with the place of the heart so that we can speak to a roommate that is difficult for us from a place of openness, from a place from where we don’t disconnect?
How do we get back in contact with those possibilities for us to live in a playful, creative, connected, curious, courageous way?
Maybe we don’t want to even recognize that we are in pain. We are still refusing to recognize how much we are all in pain and how much the world is in pain. But when we can begin to hear the pain that is being expressed through our bodies, we begin to melt, we begin to mourn and grief that which created the pain. And we’re flowing again.
What is at stake? What is at stake for ourselves? What is at stake in my life? What is at stake when I resist? What is at stake when I insist on separation? What is at stake when I don’t know what to do? What is at stake when I am confusing myself purposely? All the time, whatever is going on, in terms of my intention – what is at stake?
We are afraid to break open, afraid to cry. And that is exactly what my invitation is. Go hear stories, be in community. It’s not just about right and wrong and seing our responsibility. It’s about grief.
As our lives come into being, as we become, we learn about sickness, old age and death. It becomes life, loss, gain, or what we see as gain and loss. And what we do with it, in terms of how we create our own suffering from those changes that happen, from the life that happens.
We can’t acknowledge impermanence in the world if we can’t acknowledge it in ourselves. And it’s frightening.
Our path is tiptoeing, falling in —sometimes drowning in— our own created fire.
We trip, we fall, and we look to see what did we just trip over. What was the cause of the mistake? We try to learn from what just happened. That is the most important thing. We are not about being perfect. We are about being awake.
Everyone is doing their best, even when we make terrible mistakes. I think that people who do things that are cruel and senseless, the conditioning that they had to endure in order to do those kinds of things is tragic. Not to say that they are not responsible. They are responsible. But there are reasons.
Reverends Konjin Gaelyn Godwin and Taiga Ito visited Ancestral Heart Zen Monastery last September and gave a presentation on Soto Zen International’s mission and its alignment with the United Nations’ 17 Sustainable Development Goals. The 17 Goals address the broadest range of issues: from poverty and inequity to the health of the oceans and forests. Their presentation was an opportunity for us to develop our understanding and encourage each other’s efforts in these areas.
Reverend Konjin Gaelyn Godwin is the Director of the Soto Zen Buddhism International Center (in addition to being the Abbot of Houston Zen Center), and Reverend Taiga Ito is the Assistant Director. Konjin is also a longtime friend and visiting teacher of the Brooklyn Zen Center.
Stand up and be authentically what we are.
We show up for each other, we show up as a community. We have to understand at some level sangha in some ways does not work unless we understand that our showing up is not for ourselves – but it is for the whole of the sangha.
Zazen is a way I would offer to open to relationality and to open to spaciousness in a full life.
The combination of precepts and community practice allows us to take refuge in a new relational orientation to the world, to others, to the Earth. And it entails of course vulnerability, literally opening the heart to something mysterious, to another person who I can’t completely know, to a context where I can only see my own perspective.