October 8, 2026
Tori shares what it was like to step across the threshold as a newcomer, intimidated by the forms and the chanting, and how serving on the Shika Ryo and sitting in Wednesday night Dharma Shares deepened her connection. She also tells the story of the Saturday morning she came to the zendo and began to understand more deeply what it means to take refuge in sangha.
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Name: Tori Tanaka
Member Since: August 2022
Favorite Program: I really enjoy Wednesday night Dharma Shares. It’s such a unique, intimate setting: the dim lighting, a small group, and space to speak openly and vulnerably about whatever topic has been offered that night. I also love sesshin, a lovely way to have more dedicated time for practice, both for yourself and with the broader sangha.
BZC Roles: Aside from Shika Ryo, I like to connect with new members I meet during tea, and I’m happy to volunteer wherever help is needed. When items came down from Ancestral Heart, for example, I came in to help reorganize. Overall, I just like helping to keep BZC a community that can thrive.
Fun Fact: I’m a big fan of pizza, so much so that I celebrate National Pizza Day every February 9th by bringing my friends together. I’m going on year six!
Watch the video and read on to her fuller story below:
This video is an excerpt from a longer conversation with Tori. You can read the full conversation below.
My Story:
My name is Tori. I use she/her pronouns, and I began coming to the Zen Center in 2021 and officially became a member in 2022. I think each year, my involvement has deepened. I really started by just coming to the Saturday programs and really listening to my body in terms of when I wanted to come. It was a new practice, and I think, like many, I was a bit intimidated by all the forms and the chanting, and wanting to make sure that I was really showing up because I wanted to be here.
Finding my place
Through the years I’ve done some of the one-day sits, some of the three-day sessions. Two years ago I joined the Shika Ryo. Sensei Sarah actually approached me and asked if I wanted to join, which was really special. I am someone that likes to welcome others in and make people feel included and supported, and so it’s been really lovely being part of the Shika Ryo. I think anytime you have a role in a center, you feel that much more ingrained in the community.
Over the last year I’ve also been going to the Wednesday night Dharma Shares, which, as someone who typically stays a little bit more quiet in the Saturdays, I really have enjoyed because it’s much more intimate and truly the safest space to share what’s on your mind. I think I’ve cried almost every single time, but have always felt just so supported in those settings.
On welcoming someone new
BZC: If you were talking to somebody who was wondering about stepping across the threshold, either to the Zen Center for the first time or thinking about deepening their relationship, what have you learned about that process?
I would say first, come and see for yourself what the practice is. Similarly, what I learned along the way was the importance of listening to yourself and to your body in terms of how you want to engage. And know that, in the beginning and even throughout, there’s a level of commitment that does help support your practice in taking shape. But I do think you have to find that moment where you really feel your body wants to be there and wants to participate.
On taking refuge in sangha
One thing that has been especially alive for me over the last couple of years is sangha. I think that is because I have been coming more consistently, had the Shika Ryo role, and was thinking about taking refuge in sangha and when that concept really came alive for me.
In April of 2024, I was lucky enough to take a full month work sabbatical and I spent it in Spain. On my flight home, I turned the phone back on and got plugged back into the day-to-day and was met with some pretty intense family conflict. Lines were being drawn that I never foresaw being drawn. I was really emotional, pretty upset about it. I woke up on that first Saturday morning, which also happened to be my 33rd birthday, and I was just really upset.
I remember feeling like I wanted to kind of crawl into a hole and just keep the blinds closed. And for some reason there was this voice in me that was like, “No, this is actually when you go to the Zen Center.” I came, and for the first time I sat and bawled through all of zazen. And I think there was something in that experience that I really recognized: this is the point, to be in community with people that will help hold that for you or with you when you might not totally have the strength to do so. So there was something in that experience where I understood, okay, yes, we show up for ourselves and to understand our true nature, and doing that in community and with others is deeply powerful. It was beautiful to be able to experience that, and to continue practicing with that new understanding of what sangha can mean.
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Special thanks to filmmaker and BZC member Sara Lamm for help with the interviews! Meet Sara here.